I feel like a complete failure with keeping promises. I should just never promise. I like the fact that people actually invited me to their graduation parties, but I hate how I'm constantly leaving them or arriving late. I'd rather have a different party each day than having two parties a day for 3 days. Okay so yesterday's first party was a family party... but still. I just wish that parties were on different days.

I feel this obligation to go t everyone's party. I feel like shit when I don't stay for a long time because I don't know when I'll see these people again. I don't even know if I'll ever see these people again. I just hope so. I've met a few great people... they were friends, but then they started to grow apart. And now I'm friends with them. So I constantly have to hear them talking behind eachother's backs. Honestly, I don't want to deal with this shit at the end of the school year.

WTF

In my own perfect world, no one hates anyone. No one talks behind others' backs. No one ruins my life by "coincidentally" having a party the same time as someone else's because [insertnamehere] doesn't like [insertothername].

I know I'm not the only person dealing with this... but whatever.

I'm sorry you're even reading this. Don't read anymore because I'm just complaining about useless crap.

Anyway... I just don't want my friends to constantly have these unspoken conflicts. Maybe some people were just meant to hate some people. Who knows? I'm just-- I just don't want these people to go to college. I can't even believe that a whole year just passed by. After weeks of holding it in, I'm ust crying right now. Yeah. Me.

I mean, I know I'll see these guys, but it's not gonna be as often. It'll be like 6 times a year. Those 6 times will turn to like 1 the next year.

And I'm the worst person to try to keep in contact with. E-mails are probably better for me than IMs, since my IMsaren't even that great.

And I'll end up seeing a couple of these guys several times during the year... but I won't see them in school.

i can't right anymore without just thinking about the year.. I just want to spend as much time I can with them... because we won't be able to do that as much.

This is probably a girl thing... they have to cause drama...it affects everyone. For some reason I feel like it's affecting me the worst right now...I guess it's because I don't know if it's happening to anyone else.

I feel like I shold end this...but as I continue to talk to myself, I decide to write more.

The thing is that while growing up you may hate a certain kid for 10 years. All of a sudden you graduate, and you never see that kid again. You go the west coast. The kid stays in the east coast. Sure you're finally away from the kid, but what are the chances you'll see him again? What if he goes to Florida? Maine? Kentucky? Oregon? You don't know! I guess I'm such a clingy person who tends to let go of grudges. I'm just saying that many people have made an impact in my life...many were hard to face, but I've learned to face them with courage. And I thank everyone. I just wish that people would keep in contact or something

I don't know. I can't think straight anymore. I'm sorry. I swear I didn't drink the punch.

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